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Minion-hood under attack

Folks these are dire times !!!!

Temptation

Indicative image…of how the lord feels walking on the streets of the holiest of holy villages on the West Coast

The lord, our savior, the T-Dawg, the one who makes all the bitches in physics go “ooohhh aaaahhh”, the tamer of Balrogs, the one they call Shrinks, is being tempted left right and center !!

I mean the horror….it’s like a whole army of temptations has descended upon the lord…and even he who manages to possess a stomach wall despite eating ‘Tasty Nuts’ every day for like 3 yrs, has his limits.

For reasons known only to the lord, the names of these temptations cannot (and will not) be disclosed…neither will their nationalities (wink wink). Suffices to say, that the lord hath been tempted by beauties all over the world.

However, this is just the tip of the iceberg….
Yours truly, the minion of minions, the crown prince of bitches, the one who serveth the lord the best, never thought his top minion-hood would ever come under threat. NEVER !! I mean, when have i ever ill-advised the lord…hmmmmm…

Indicative pic....u get the idea

Indicative pic….u get the idea

But folks, evil works in mysterious ways and is threatening to corrupt the lord. As a result, this faithful minion has decided to go on the pilgrimage…to find his lord ONCE AGAIN !!! If the lord be Frodo, I be Sam Wise (totally not Gay)….The lord leads, i follow. And no matter how many Shelobs try to roll up the lord and eat him, i shall come and save him.

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

In order to cleanse the lord and  once again become the one true minion, the lord and his minion shall take an epic trip to the greatest city of men, New York. There, if all goes well, the lord shall meet with ice-queen who resides in neighboring forests of Pennsylvania. If my calculations are correct, this epic meet of the dark lord of Utumno (Farts be upon him) and the Ice Queen (whose real name cannot be revealved..for yours truly lives in perpetual fear) shall create such a shock wave that the Lord shall be woken up from his slumber…a dark and deep slumber brought upon by 3 yrs in a pitiful village surrounded by pseudo minions.

Amen and may the Lord’s farts surround him forever !

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Shrinky needs a Shrink XII

After a long long hiatus, during which i froze myself in the Himalayas ….

A very frozen Cartman..not me ofcourse..but u get the picture

I’m back !! Writing from Arnold’s former state and the land of the perpetual snobs…CALIFORNIA 😛

And what better way to start off than updating the lord’s followers (my fellow IT-ologists) on his day to day activities.

Nehoooo….
Let me start of by saying, that our messiah, the great one, the speaker of extinct languages, Nut (Tasty Nuts) gobbler, the rider of Balrogs..The lord Shrinky (known among unbelievers as Sripoorna Bharadwaj) is alive and well !!!….Some say, he has even become social !! [The author firmly believes that these are rumors planted specifically to discredit the lord…this makes the author very very angry]

[oooh..one more thing before we proceed…the author considers himself to be the lord’s minion…an insolent evil one at that, but a minion nonetheless !! :P…If you have problems picturing this…think of Dick Dastardly and Muttley (the author being Muttley) :P]

Muttley !!!!

Muttley !!!! Do Something !!!!

So where were we..oh yea..the lord and his changing ways ! It is my mission to better understand the ways of m’lord and spread his message and awesomeness far and wide..Here are a few pics that will brighten your day and expose u to the awesomeness that is the lord Shrinky !!

The lord, "Damn !! Constipation again !!!"

The lord, “Damn !! Constipation again !!!”

The above pic also represents the lord’s anguish at all his worldly tensions !! (or when the minion has bugged him for far too long on a hangout :P)

BREAKING NEWS !!!!! [or the fact that i realized that i had just one pic :D]

There have been disturbing rumors from Eugene, OR (the great “city” which presently has the honor of housing the lord) that the female population of the city has been struck by an unknown fever…Doctors (unofficially ofcourse) call it “Shrinky fever“..a condition said to affect girls (aged 18-27) in close proximity to the lord. Symptoms include loss of words, dreamy eyes, loss of appetite, screaming, fainting and a sudden urge to study Physics !!
The author speculates that the ‘fever’ is spread by eye-contact ! The lord is kinda like a LOVE-BASILISK, one look into the lord’s eyes and that look gets ya !.

The look that has all the girls go, "DAYYUMMM"

The look that has all the girls go GAGA over the lord

Our field researchers in Eugene report of “Strange girls making advances at the lord at bus stands”…..”girls yelling and waving from cars on the road”….”chicks in general stores chasing the lord smitten by his cologne” [a lord doesn’t wear cologne ofcourse…his sweat is good enough.]. In conclusion Eugene has a full blown Shrinky Fever crisis on its hands. Here’s a pic of chicks in bikinis lining up outside the Department of Physics, University of Oregon..

Chicks surrounding the lord

Chicks throwing themselves at the lord. One of them seems to have spotted our field reporter as he took this shot

Certain celebrities were quick in reacting as this news was broken worldwide by yours truly…..

Jerry Seinfeld’s reaction when he heard about the on-going crisis in Eugene.

People look on in awe as Jerry Seinfeld decides he just can’t take anymore of the lord’s awesomeness anymore !! what a prick !

And here’s Colbert ! Quite close to my own reaction

The lord cometh and cometh good !!..Too hot to handle !

But the biggest dick of them all was Jim Carry !!

Jim Carry just couldn’t take it !

So yea…that’s about all we have for you folks now. Will try to keep you posted from time to time. Until then here’s a cute dog dancing at the door 😛 CIAO !!!!

he he he

10 Things that make University of Oregon very very special for Shrinky*

1)      Shrinky “chose” this university over the multitude of universities which begged him to join.

2)      Shrinky says so!

3)      Rajesh says so! (Rajesh is/was his guide for his undergrad degree who happens to be from U.Oregon)

4)      It’s somewhere in Twilight country, which enables Shrinky to further indulge in his obsession with Twilight and Vampires.

5)      Amith did not laugh or “Dude !! What the fuck” at the mention of this university. [To IT neophytes, Shrinky craves approval from one and all but nothing and I mean nothing pleases him more than A for Amith“

6)      Unconfirmed reports (from undisclosed sources) suggest that one of **Michelle’s distant relatives studied there. [Please note that ‘the Lord ‘ is said to have been so pleased on hearing this that

7)      It is also the only Physics program where no other Indian applied (from drunk and seemingly ‘high’ sources)

8)      Before deciding on which univs to apply to, Shrinky performed his typical TANTRA-MANTRA (read “locked himself in the room and cried and begged for god to give him an answer”). It was during one such session that Shrinky fell off his bed, banged his head on the floor and cried out, “Aiyyeeee UUUUOOOO”. Iske baad kya tha….Shrinky googled UO and knew this was IT. [see how clever I am with words]

9)      Anyone who owns a time machine will tell you that the Noble Prize for Physics in the year 2015 will go to a “not so obese” Doctoral student from Udupi studying at University of Oregon [No prizes for getting the name right]

10)   And lastly, Shrinky did-not get rejected from BROWN, UMCP and UCSD…….he was simply too good for them !!!!

 

*Shrinky refers to Sripoorna Bharadwaj P.K – A great personality hailing from the holy town of Udupi {the author would not like to comment on disputes regarding him being from another planet or being a reincarnation of Hitler as these are still being discussed in a court of law and the author has absolutely no intention to affront the Great Indian “Kachue Ki Chaal” Courts}

**Michelle (as used in this article) has absolutely nothing to do with a certain Michelle from Shrinky’s school life. The author was further instructed by Shrinky to clarify that he( as in Shrinky) has stopped behaving like a stalker (with the help of his Shrink of course) and does not google her name anymore.