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Minion-hood under attack

Folks these are dire times !!!!

Temptation

Indicative image…of how the lord feels walking on the streets of the holiest of holy villages on the West Coast

The lord, our savior, the T-Dawg, the one who makes all the bitches in physics go “ooohhh aaaahhh”, the tamer of Balrogs, the one they call Shrinks, is being tempted left right and center !!

I mean the horror….it’s like a whole army of temptations has descended upon the lord…and even he who manages to possess a stomach wall despite eating ‘Tasty Nuts’ every day for like 3 yrs, has his limits.

For reasons known only to the lord, the names of these temptations cannot (and will not) be disclosed…neither will their nationalities (wink wink). Suffices to say, that the lord hath been tempted by beauties all over the world.

However, this is just the tip of the iceberg….
Yours truly, the minion of minions, the crown prince of bitches, the one who serveth the lord the best, never thought his top minion-hood would ever come under threat. NEVER !! I mean, when have i ever ill-advised the lord…hmmmmm…

Indicative pic....u get the idea

Indicative pic….u get the idea

But folks, evil works in mysterious ways and is threatening to corrupt the lord. As a result, this faithful minion has decided to go on the pilgrimage…to find his lord ONCE AGAIN !!! If the lord be Frodo, I be Sam Wise (totally not Gay)….The lord leads, i follow. And no matter how many Shelobs try to roll up the lord and eat him, i shall come and save him.

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

In order to cleanse the lord and  once again become the one true minion, the lord and his minion shall take an epic trip to the greatest city of men, New York. There, if all goes well, the lord shall meet with ice-queen who resides in neighboring forests of Pennsylvania. If my calculations are correct, this epic meet of the dark lord of Utumno (Farts be upon him) and the Ice Queen (whose real name cannot be revealved..for yours truly lives in perpetual fear) shall create such a shock wave that the Lord shall be woken up from his slumber…a dark and deep slumber brought upon by 3 yrs in a pitiful village surrounded by pseudo minions.

Amen and may the Lord’s farts surround him forever !

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10 Things that make University of Oregon very very special for Shrinky*

1)      Shrinky “chose” this university over the multitude of universities which begged him to join.

2)      Shrinky says so!

3)      Rajesh says so! (Rajesh is/was his guide for his undergrad degree who happens to be from U.Oregon)

4)      It’s somewhere in Twilight country, which enables Shrinky to further indulge in his obsession with Twilight and Vampires.

5)      Amith did not laugh or “Dude !! What the fuck” at the mention of this university. [To IT neophytes, Shrinky craves approval from one and all but nothing and I mean nothing pleases him more than A for Amith“

6)      Unconfirmed reports (from undisclosed sources) suggest that one of **Michelle’s distant relatives studied there. [Please note that ‘the Lord ‘ is said to have been so pleased on hearing this that

7)      It is also the only Physics program where no other Indian applied (from drunk and seemingly ‘high’ sources)

8)      Before deciding on which univs to apply to, Shrinky performed his typical TANTRA-MANTRA (read “locked himself in the room and cried and begged for god to give him an answer”). It was during one such session that Shrinky fell off his bed, banged his head on the floor and cried out, “Aiyyeeee UUUUOOOO”. Iske baad kya tha….Shrinky googled UO and knew this was IT. [see how clever I am with words]

9)      Anyone who owns a time machine will tell you that the Noble Prize for Physics in the year 2015 will go to a “not so obese” Doctoral student from Udupi studying at University of Oregon [No prizes for getting the name right]

10)   And lastly, Shrinky did-not get rejected from BROWN, UMCP and UCSD…….he was simply too good for them !!!!

 

*Shrinky refers to Sripoorna Bharadwaj P.K – A great personality hailing from the holy town of Udupi {the author would not like to comment on disputes regarding him being from another planet or being a reincarnation of Hitler as these are still being discussed in a court of law and the author has absolutely no intention to affront the Great Indian “Kachue Ki Chaal” Courts}

**Michelle (as used in this article) has absolutely nothing to do with a certain Michelle from Shrinky’s school life. The author was further instructed by Shrinky to clarify that he( as in Shrinky) has stopped behaving like a stalker (with the help of his Shrink of course) and does not google her name anymore.