Folks these are dire times !!!!
The lord, our savior, the T-Dawg, the one who makes all the bitches in physics go “ooohhh aaaahhh”, the tamer of Balrogs, the one they call Shrinks, is being tempted left right and center !!
I mean the horror….it’s like a whole army of temptations has descended upon the lord…and even he who manages to possess a stomach wall despite eating ‘Tasty Nuts’ every day for like 3 yrs, has his limits.
For reasons known only to the lord, the names of these temptations cannot (and will not) be disclosed…neither will their nationalities (wink wink). Suffices to say, that the lord hath been tempted by beauties all over the world.
However, this is just the tip of the iceberg….
Yours truly, the minion of minions, the crown prince of bitches, the one who serveth the lord the best, never thought his top minion-hood would ever come under threat. NEVER !! I mean, when have i ever ill-advised the lord…hmmmmm…
But folks, evil works in mysterious ways and is threatening to corrupt the lord. As a result, this faithful minion has decided to go on the pilgrimage…to find his lord ONCE AGAIN !!! If the lord be Frodo, I be Sam Wise (totally not Gay)….The lord leads, i follow. And no matter how many Shelobs try to roll up the lord and eat him, i shall come and save him.
In order to cleanse the lord and once again become the one true minion, the lord and his minion shall take an epic trip to the greatest city of men, New York. There, if all goes well, the lord shall meet with ice-queen who resides in neighboring forests of Pennsylvania. If my calculations are correct, this epic meet of the dark lord of Utumno (Farts be upon him) and the Ice Queen (whose real name cannot be revealved..for yours truly lives in perpetual fear) shall create such a shock wave that the Lord shall be woken up from his slumber…a dark and deep slumber brought upon by 3 yrs in a pitiful village surrounded by pseudo minions.
Amen and may the Lord’s farts surround him forever !
After a long long hiatus, during which i froze myself in the Himalayas ….
I’m back !! Writing from Arnold’s former state and the land of the perpetual snobs…CALIFORNIA 😛
And what better way to start off than updating the lord’s followers (my fellow IT-ologists) on his day to day activities.
Let me start of by saying, that our messiah, the great one, the speaker of extinct languages, Nut (Tasty Nuts) gobbler, the rider of Balrogs..The lord Shrinky (known among unbelievers as Sripoorna Bharadwaj) is alive and well !!!….Some say, he has even become social !! [The author firmly believes that these are rumors planted specifically to discredit the lord…this makes the author very very angry]
[oooh..one more thing before we proceed…the author considers himself to be the lord’s minion…an insolent evil one at that, but a minion nonetheless !! :P…If you have problems picturing this…think of Dick Dastardly and Muttley (the author being Muttley) :P]
So where were we..oh yea..the lord and his changing ways ! It is my mission to better understand the ways of m’lord and spread his message and awesomeness far and wide..Here are a few pics that will brighten your day and expose u to the awesomeness that is the lord Shrinky !!
The above pic also represents the lord’s anguish at all his worldly tensions !! (or when the minion has bugged him for far too long on a hangout :P)
BREAKING NEWS !!!!! [or the fact that i realized that i had just one pic :D]
There have been disturbing rumors from Eugene, OR (the great “city” which presently has the honor of housing the lord) that the female population of the city has been struck by an unknown fever…Doctors (unofficially ofcourse) call it “Shrinky fever“..a condition said to affect girls (aged 18-27) in close proximity to the lord. Symptoms include loss of words, dreamy eyes, loss of appetite, screaming, fainting and a sudden urge to study Physics !!
The author speculates that the ‘fever’ is spread by eye-contact ! The lord is kinda like a LOVE-BASILISK, one look into the lord’s eyes and that look gets ya !.
Our field researchers in Eugene report of “Strange girls making advances at the lord at bus stands”…..”girls yelling and waving from cars on the road”….”chicks in general stores chasing the lord smitten by his cologne” [a lord doesn’t wear cologne ofcourse…his sweat is good enough.]. In conclusion Eugene has a full blown Shrinky Fever crisis on its hands. Here’s a pic of chicks in bikinis lining up outside the Department of Physics, University of Oregon..
Certain celebrities were quick in reacting as this news was broken worldwide by yours truly…..
Jerry Seinfeld’s reaction when he heard about the on-going crisis in Eugene.
And here’s Colbert ! Quite close to my own reaction
But the biggest dick of them all was Jim Carry !!
So yea…that’s about all we have for you folks now. Will try to keep you posted from time to time. Until then here’s a cute dog dancing at the door 😛 CIAO !!!!