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I warned you !!

Well i for one am feeling great…….

I have just been proven right !!!

This is an example of the horrendous results that come out of copying a great idea and India-fying it……….

BEWARE OF SONGS !!

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India’s very own Sidious

Sidious after facial surgery and a minor sex change operation

 

Sidious, back when he was still beautiful !

Ok, for those of you who still don’t get it………i shall elaborate……..

Nirupama Rao ( India’s current Foreign Secretary) just got appointed as India’s ambassador to the US of A.

Now i am quite sure that Miss Rao ( or in the worst case Mrs Rao) is superbly qualified and more than capable for the job.

However this appointed sadly enough continued India’s tryst with beauty-disabled ( for want of a better word) female bureaucrats and female politicians.

I mean isn’t India the land of beauties ( i mean i like to believe so………..though my faith in this has been severely challenged as a result of stay at Chennai !!! )

Why can’t we have a dumb beauty running for PM, once in a while. But nooooo….god forbid should the Indian male get a good looking politician to support. Politicians on either side of the border don’t seem to be doing much anyway, so why not have good looking ones replace the antiquated old farts.

Indians ( by which i mean Indian media) have been awefully quite on this particular issue. I attribute this mainly to a certain disease called, Political correctivetitis.

Our friends from across the border ( I mean the ones who Sunny Deol beat in GADAR……) have been particularly forthcoming regarding the issue  and have posted their views on almost on public forums ( read Indian Pakistan youtube videos. The author happens to go through all the comments on every indian-pakista video.)

A particular comparison cited was that involving two prominent female politicians  from the 2 countries. ( I already see Indians going…..ooooohhhhhhh, Damn, Anyone can beat us on this one)

Here goes-

One the Indian Side,

This 'thing', is sometimes called the Chief Minister of UP

*I could have put one or two more but my article would start e-stinking……..so instead i decided to just start uploading the pics of Pakistani politicians*

 

Sharmila Farooqi, OMG

Hina Rabbani.....She can have my vote anyday !!

 

BTW, this isn’t one exception……………The likes of Benazir Bhutto, Kashmala Tariq ( I mean she could be beat most of the so called “Bollywood hotties) only further exacerbate the pain felt by the Indian public. Our female politicians are just not presentable.

We have Pratibha Patil ( Wrinkle Trinkle Oldy star), J.J.J.Jaya-Rasgulla-Lalitha, Sheila SHIT SHIT, Mom-Rapid Fire-Banerjee and Meira-Chup Hojaiye- Kumari. ( I could have mentioned Kumari Shailja…but she ain’t even a woman, so why bother)

The condition is so bad, that even our Italian import turned out to be defective, Miss Sonia Mano was a huge disappointment to the Indian male ( Ohh how he dreamt of having a sexy Italian for a president………Monica Bellucci anyone??)

* A pic of Monica Bellucci was found to be utterly unnecessary……..if u don’t know who she is, then you’re either too young to be using a computer or a 60 year old, straight feminist )

The feminists however are partying !!……India will soon be the brand ambassador for “Inner Beauty” [ Frustrating men since the early 20th century]

P.S : The author claims that his hope of one day seeing a beautiful female politician doesn’t make him shallow at all. It just makes him utter optimist.

P.SSSS : If u haven’t noticed yet, the author conveniently chose to forget the likes of Hema Malini and Jaya Prada ( who techinically are politicians too ). This though was because the pakistanis he has mentioned are “pure” politicians not actresses who use their oomph on screen to get into the legislature. The Pakistanis used their Abba-Power instead ….

 

 

 

 

 

Copy-Cats are the best kind of cats…….Look to India for proof !!!

Aaj kal India me har kuch copy hota hai………….

Movies ( purani khabar hai boss, Bollywood copying since 1950)

TV Serials ( usse bhi purani khabar hai boss…….Copying since the beginning of time)

Tech  (Copying since Indians lay there eye on Ravan’s Pushpak Viman……”Oooohhh Aaaahhhhh, must copy” )

Religion ( Indra -Pal Singh (Hindu god of blah blah) copied from his classmate Mahavir Jain, who inturn was copying from Purana Buddha (Strange name for a child, i know) )

Ek chota sa namuma pesh karte hain ( for the knock out punch obviously)—- I recently had the misfortune of finding out that one of my favorite shows, Small Wonder ( I always wanted to be Harriet …and yeah I’m Gay for saying this :P) had been kidnapped, strangled, water boarded, brutally raped and then finally shot through the head by the Indian Telly……..Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!! ………In the words of Dharam Paji, “KUTTTONNNNN CHUN CHUN KE MAROONGA”

Karishma came on Indian telly and proved to be a more lethal killer than Methyl Cyanide and ofcourse Anderson (Bhopali :P)

But one thing even I didn’ see coming ( despite having inherited Sanjay’s Magical Drishti……..we all know what he used it for [Que Porn music ] )….was copying in Indian politics……[ Honest Confession, Indian politics has been blamed of being so many things that “accusing them of being a copy-cat” was  the only thing i could have done without being called a copy-cat myself )…[I know, I know….I am a genius ]….

Anna Hazare ( of the ” me gandhi banna chahta hoon” fame) aur Baba Ramdev ( of the “Baaaa Baaa Black Money”  fame) Gandhi ji ki nakal utar rahe hain !!! …………

All i can read in the newspaper these days  ( Yes, i do get a newspaper…….Comes in handy, when the water runs out ) is ” I’ll go on a fast today………no discuss with govt first……………Fast tomorrow………..Arrehh Nahi, demands poori ho gayi, strike cancel………….no no, govt bluffed us, hunger strike on )……

Amaran Anshan Bapu ne shuru kiya tha ( Don’t sue me , i might be wrong……….was sleeping in the history class, u see !!) par never in his wildest dreams would he have thought ki Indians unke is “Hatiyaar” ( Indian for Weapon ) ko tod marod kar uska present day avatar de denge (Indians would distort his weapon to it’s present day state… [ I know it sounds like something out of a porno]….

  • Karunanidhi does a hunger strike till death for a full 2 hours……..
  • Baba Ramdev decides to do a GAGA……he spins the whole concept around and decides to strike and cross-dress at the same time ……….a bit of his yoga cure for Homosexuality for himself perhaps…
  • And finally Anna-Hazard-de ( a close cousin of Duke-Nuke’em) decides to threaten our beloved govt ( read hated, despised and shit upon) every other day……….

A dear friend of mine , Dobby*, once said, ” When will any of them die……”, a quote which i found to be terribly true……this was before Dobby decided to fart , kiss and hug me all at the same time, managing to do nothing but fall on the floor and then drifted into wonderland…

[*Dobby’s identity cannot be revealed ………Silence, I KILL YOU ]

Bapu ( who btw is more immune to slander in India than the Islamic prophet……… Who was it…..Moses?? ) to kuch original karke gaye par yeh log ( in the true spiritof the country) bas copy hi kare jaa rahe hain …..

Yeh Madhuri Dixit Banna Chahti thee... :((

Anna-HAZARDe

Anna- Hazard-de, seems to heading ( or i rather hope he does)  the same route as Antara Bali (who????)………..into OBLIVION…

{Sudden topic change and mood change…………brought upon by chennai rains}

Agar Country ka kuch hona hai toh we need more originality……….Different times me different measures use karna padte hain…….

What if Shivaji’s army had marched onto the mughal fort, like our beloved british …and said, ” We demand battle…….face us you scoundrels !! “…………….They would’ve had there asses wooopedddd……………

Isliye bacchooon……….Copy karna Band karo….aur kuch naya karo……

The govt we have is one which was brought into power ( with an overwhelming majority) by none other than us……It is just not right to “threaten” our representatives, no matter how fucked up they may be, with Gandhi Ji’s brand of “terrorism” everyday ( Dobby’s suggestion……..he awoke, said this……farted again…….and fell in the hole again )

The man above represents “originality” …..he smokes it…….snorts it…….infact he married it…………and out came something remarkably beautiful !!!  Guess who ????? ……………………………. Clue: I love him…..Infact i’d be gay for him….probably am……who knows??…

P.S: For all those who found this article to be lacking clarity of thought,arbitrary and having reduced a “serious and grave issue” to a “790 word pile of ‘dog poo‘ “…. I have one thing to say…..” What can u expect from someone who put a 3.5 in his GRE- AW anyway ???? “