Folks these are dire times !!!!
The lord, our savior, the T-Dawg, the one who makes all the bitches in physics go “ooohhh aaaahhh”, the tamer of Balrogs, the one they call Shrinks, is being tempted left right and center !!
I mean the horror….it’s like a whole army of temptations has descended upon the lord…and even he who manages to possess a stomach wall despite eating ‘Tasty Nuts’ every day for like 3 yrs, has his limits.
For reasons known only to the lord, the names of these temptations cannot (and will not) be disclosed…neither will their nationalities (wink wink). Suffices to say, that the lord hath been tempted by beauties all over the world.
However, this is just the tip of the iceberg….
Yours truly, the minion of minions, the crown prince of bitches, the one who serveth the lord the best, never thought his top minion-hood would ever come under threat. NEVER !! I mean, when have i ever ill-advised the lord…hmmmmm…
But folks, evil works in mysterious ways and is threatening to corrupt the lord. As a result, this faithful minion has decided to go on the pilgrimage…to find his lord ONCE AGAIN !!! If the lord be Frodo, I be Sam Wise (totally not Gay)….The lord leads, i follow. And no matter how many Shelobs try to roll up the lord and eat him, i shall come and save him.
In order to cleanse the lord and once again become the one true minion, the lord and his minion shall take an epic trip to the greatest city of men, New York. There, if all goes well, the lord shall meet with ice-queen who resides in neighboring forests of Pennsylvania. If my calculations are correct, this epic meet of the dark lord of Utumno (Farts be upon him) and the Ice Queen (whose real name cannot be revealved..for yours truly lives in perpetual fear) shall create such a shock wave that the Lord shall be woken up from his slumber…a dark and deep slumber brought upon by 3 yrs in a pitiful village surrounded by pseudo minions.
Amen and may the Lord’s farts surround him forever !