IOLAB and the end of IIT

Well, well, well…..who’d have thought, but i got through IIT…..and in one piece..

4 years in the beautiful Chennai campus made me realize quite a few things about Indian education, research and people in general. However, all that later…and frankly, its just me cribbing about anything and everything, so nobody’s missing anything.

My last year at IIT (the dull and boring DDP) began in June, with me approaching Prof. Bijoy Krishna Das and asking him about the availability of a project under him. Prof Das, as a side note, is one of the most humble and supportive teachers/guide i’ve met at IIT. He heads the Integrated Optoelectronics lab (IOLAB, at IITM). He’s also one of the few rare souls at IIT who actually publicize (read, talk to students about) their research and give undergrads a feel of research by actively involving them in the work being done in the group. Nehoo…so there i was, in hot and sultry chennai, ready to join a budding research group and do some good work. I can’t really comment on the quality or the quantity of the work done, but one thing i know for sure at the end of this year is that i’ve never met a more diverse bunch of people in my life. The accounts of people that follow, made my last year at IITM, a most memorable one and now count as some of my closest friends.

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Da Lord visits the bear state

Hullo to all my peeps out there.

I’m really sorry that i have been away for a long time. Tracking and following da lord is a tough task and takes a lot of field research. I am pleased to announce however that there has been a huge development in da realm of da lord. Da lord finally decided to take a trip for what some might call “pleasure” and or “fun” (a word that is seldom associated with da lord). The decision as some of you may know was a tough one to take. Yours truly is proud to say that he had a huge part in convincing the great one to make the pilgrimage to Sunny San Diego or as the locals call it Sundaygo.

For the sake of all you lord-fanatics/fan girls who are dying to see our lord and savior here are some pictures….

Da lord showing off his Portuguese jersey in front of the Cabrilho's statue...coz u know, Portuguese jersey for the Portuguese discoverer of San Diego

Da lord showing off his Portuguese jersey in front of the Cabrilho’s statue…coz u know, Portuguese jersey for the Portuguese discoverer of San Diego

Who would have thought, da lord doing a Shahrukh Khan. I guess the pacific brought out the hidden bollywood lover in him

Who would have thought, da lord doing a Shahrukh Khan. I guess the pacific brought out the hidden bollywood lover in him

The pics shown above were taken at the Cabrilho National Monument where da lord got a first hand site of the mighty pacific..a body of water that matches da lord !!!!! 😮

Da lord also ate at some of the best eateries in San Diego. He consumed the mighty souther californian burrito at Riggaburto’s and devoured the chicago pizza at the court of Regents. I’m sorry if this article seems…for want of a better word…incoherent. Proximity with da lord left yours truly permanently changed for good.

Nehoo…that’s all for now folks.
I’m pleased to inform y’all that i’m officially out of hibernation and shall be posting regularly on da life of our lord and savior !

 

PEACE !

Minion-hood under attack

Folks these are dire times !!!!

Temptation

Indicative image…of how the lord feels walking on the streets of the holiest of holy villages on the West Coast

The lord, our savior, the T-Dawg, the one who makes all the bitches in physics go “ooohhh aaaahhh”, the tamer of Balrogs, the one they call Shrinks, is being tempted left right and center !!

I mean the horror….it’s like a whole army of temptations has descended upon the lord…and even he who manages to possess a stomach wall despite eating ‘Tasty Nuts’ every day for like 3 yrs, has his limits.

For reasons known only to the lord, the names of these temptations cannot (and will not) be disclosed…neither will their nationalities (wink wink). Suffices to say, that the lord hath been tempted by beauties all over the world.

However, this is just the tip of the iceberg….
Yours truly, the minion of minions, the crown prince of bitches, the one who serveth the lord the best, never thought his top minion-hood would ever come under threat. NEVER !! I mean, when have i ever ill-advised the lord…hmmmmm…

Indicative pic....u get the idea

Indicative pic….u get the idea

But folks, evil works in mysterious ways and is threatening to corrupt the lord. As a result, this faithful minion has decided to go on the pilgrimage…to find his lord ONCE AGAIN !!! If the lord be Frodo, I be Sam Wise (totally not Gay)….The lord leads, i follow. And no matter how many Shelobs try to roll up the lord and eat him, i shall come and save him.

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

Sam aka me coming to the rescue of the lord

In order to cleanse the lord and  once again become the one true minion, the lord and his minion shall take an epic trip to the greatest city of men, New York. There, if all goes well, the lord shall meet with ice-queen who resides in neighboring forests of Pennsylvania. If my calculations are correct, this epic meet of the dark lord of Utumno (Farts be upon him) and the Ice Queen (whose real name cannot be revealved..for yours truly lives in perpetual fear) shall create such a shock wave that the Lord shall be woken up from his slumber…a dark and deep slumber brought upon by 3 yrs in a pitiful village surrounded by pseudo minions.

Amen and may the Lord’s farts surround him forever !

Shrinky needs a Shrink XII

After a long long hiatus, during which i froze myself in the Himalayas ….

A very frozen Cartman..not me ofcourse..but u get the picture

I’m back !! Writing from Arnold’s former state and the land of the perpetual snobs…CALIFORNIA 😛

And what better way to start off than updating the lord’s followers (my fellow IT-ologists) on his day to day activities.

Nehoooo….
Let me start of by saying, that our messiah, the great one, the speaker of extinct languages, Nut (Tasty Nuts) gobbler, the rider of Balrogs..The lord Shrinky (known among unbelievers as Sripoorna Bharadwaj) is alive and well !!!….Some say, he has even become social !! [The author firmly believes that these are rumors planted specifically to discredit the lord…this makes the author very very angry]

[oooh..one more thing before we proceed…the author considers himself to be the lord’s minion…an insolent evil one at that, but a minion nonetheless !! :P…If you have problems picturing this…think of Dick Dastardly and Muttley (the author being Muttley) :P]

Muttley !!!!

Muttley !!!! Do Something !!!!

So where were we..oh yea..the lord and his changing ways ! It is my mission to better understand the ways of m’lord and spread his message and awesomeness far and wide..Here are a few pics that will brighten your day and expose u to the awesomeness that is the lord Shrinky !!

The lord, "Damn !! Constipation again !!!"

The lord, “Damn !! Constipation again !!!”

The above pic also represents the lord’s anguish at all his worldly tensions !! (or when the minion has bugged him for far too long on a hangout :P)

BREAKING NEWS !!!!! [or the fact that i realized that i had just one pic :D]

There have been disturbing rumors from Eugene, OR (the great “city” which presently has the honor of housing the lord) that the female population of the city has been struck by an unknown fever…Doctors (unofficially ofcourse) call it “Shrinky fever“..a condition said to affect girls (aged 18-27) in close proximity to the lord. Symptoms include loss of words, dreamy eyes, loss of appetite, screaming, fainting and a sudden urge to study Physics !!
The author speculates that the ‘fever’ is spread by eye-contact ! The lord is kinda like a LOVE-BASILISK, one look into the lord’s eyes and that look gets ya !.

The look that has all the girls go, "DAYYUMMM"

The look that has all the girls go GAGA over the lord

Our field researchers in Eugene report of “Strange girls making advances at the lord at bus stands”…..”girls yelling and waving from cars on the road”….”chicks in general stores chasing the lord smitten by his cologne” [a lord doesn’t wear cologne ofcourse…his sweat is good enough.]. In conclusion Eugene has a full blown Shrinky Fever crisis on its hands. Here’s a pic of chicks in bikinis lining up outside the Department of Physics, University of Oregon..

Chicks surrounding the lord

Chicks throwing themselves at the lord. One of them seems to have spotted our field reporter as he took this shot

Certain celebrities were quick in reacting as this news was broken worldwide by yours truly…..

Jerry Seinfeld’s reaction when he heard about the on-going crisis in Eugene.

People look on in awe as Jerry Seinfeld decides he just can’t take anymore of the lord’s awesomeness anymore !! what a prick !

And here’s Colbert ! Quite close to my own reaction

The lord cometh and cometh good !!..Too hot to handle !

But the biggest dick of them all was Jim Carry !!

Jim Carry just couldn’t take it !

So yea…that’s about all we have for you folks now. Will try to keep you posted from time to time. Until then here’s a cute dog dancing at the door 😛 CIAO !!!!

he he he

Smoking is for FAGS !!

*The use of “Fags” is not meant to be derogatory………Infact according to some, the author is very close to being one !! *

A simple projector playing this clip at any of our institute’s gates could change IIT for good ! 😛

Kya Tum Mard ke Bacche ho ??

I love everything about Pakistan…….It’s truly an awesomely entertaining and unpredictable country !!

MUSICS, POLITICS, SPORTS, PEOPLE, FOOD, MOVIES, TELLY, WOMEN AND MOST OF ALL THE CULTURE……….

Most of all………..I absolutely love the Youtube videos from Pakistan 😛 😛

I really don’t need to say anything …….The video says it all……..

 

I warned you !!

Well i for one am feeling great…….

I have just been proven right !!!

This is an example of the horrendous results that come out of copying a great idea and India-fying it……….

BEWARE OF SONGS !!

India’s very own Sidious

Sidious after facial surgery and a minor sex change operation

 

Sidious, back when he was still beautiful !

Ok, for those of you who still don’t get it………i shall elaborate……..

Nirupama Rao ( India’s current Foreign Secretary) just got appointed as India’s ambassador to the US of A.

Now i am quite sure that Miss Rao ( or in the worst case Mrs Rao) is superbly qualified and more than capable for the job.

However this appointed sadly enough continued India’s tryst with beauty-disabled ( for want of a better word) female bureaucrats and female politicians.

I mean isn’t India the land of beauties ( i mean i like to believe so………..though my faith in this has been severely challenged as a result of stay at Chennai !!! )

Why can’t we have a dumb beauty running for PM, once in a while. But nooooo….god forbid should the Indian male get a good looking politician to support. Politicians on either side of the border don’t seem to be doing much anyway, so why not have good looking ones replace the antiquated old farts.

Indians ( by which i mean Indian media) have been awefully quite on this particular issue. I attribute this mainly to a certain disease called, Political correctivetitis.

Our friends from across the border ( I mean the ones who Sunny Deol beat in GADAR……) have been particularly forthcoming regarding the issue  and have posted their views on almost on public forums ( read Indian Pakistan youtube videos. The author happens to go through all the comments on every indian-pakista video.)

A particular comparison cited was that involving two prominent female politicians  from the 2 countries. ( I already see Indians going…..ooooohhhhhhh, Damn, Anyone can beat us on this one)

Here goes-

One the Indian Side,

This 'thing', is sometimes called the Chief Minister of UP

*I could have put one or two more but my article would start e-stinking……..so instead i decided to just start uploading the pics of Pakistani politicians*

 

Sharmila Farooqi, OMG

Hina Rabbani.....She can have my vote anyday !!

 

BTW, this isn’t one exception……………The likes of Benazir Bhutto, Kashmala Tariq ( I mean she could be beat most of the so called “Bollywood hotties) only further exacerbate the pain felt by the Indian public. Our female politicians are just not presentable.

We have Pratibha Patil ( Wrinkle Trinkle Oldy star), J.J.J.Jaya-Rasgulla-Lalitha, Sheila SHIT SHIT, Mom-Rapid Fire-Banerjee and Meira-Chup Hojaiye- Kumari. ( I could have mentioned Kumari Shailja…but she ain’t even a woman, so why bother)

The condition is so bad, that even our Italian import turned out to be defective, Miss Sonia Mano was a huge disappointment to the Indian male ( Ohh how he dreamt of having a sexy Italian for a president………Monica Bellucci anyone??)

* A pic of Monica Bellucci was found to be utterly unnecessary……..if u don’t know who she is, then you’re either too young to be using a computer or a 60 year old, straight feminist )

The feminists however are partying !!……India will soon be the brand ambassador for “Inner Beauty” [ Frustrating men since the early 20th century]

P.S : The author claims that his hope of one day seeing a beautiful female politician doesn’t make him shallow at all. It just makes him utter optimist.

P.SSSS : If u haven’t noticed yet, the author conveniently chose to forget the likes of Hema Malini and Jaya Prada ( who techinically are politicians too ). This though was because the pakistanis he has mentioned are “pure” politicians not actresses who use their oomph on screen to get into the legislature. The Pakistanis used their Abba-Power instead ….

 

 

 

 

 

A picture is worth a thousand words…….so why not have 5 ??

Angry Avatar

Sad Avatar

Nerdy Avatar ( This one is spotted the most )

Bored/Boring Avatar

Lovely Av

 

Someone i know ( i really don’t ) can be pretty much accurately described by the pics above. [No prizes for people who see the obvious connection]

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Caution :The size of the pics in no way represents the amount of time this person ( so called person) exhibits that particular Avatar. For example ….Boring Turtle would have to equal , if not larger than Angry Turtle. The Author’s lack of creativity and originality have led to the use of these pics which were (by his own confession) found by googling in a matter of seconds. The Author is such a big douche that he won’t even add * I don’t own the pictures put in this article* to this article. You see………….how he once again indulges in the cliched art of sarcastic self-criticism that is ever so prevalent on the Blogosphere.  Utter idiot, i tell you….I mean the balls on this guy……He ( i mean I) should be caught, strapped to a chair, covered in dog-poo and paraded on a donkey.

What Amitabh Bachhan should have written………

It was something like Hiroshima but bigger……….Even the Tsunami exclaimed, “Damn…that’s scary!!”

I’m talking ofcourse about the tidal e-wave generated by Mr Bachhan’s itsy bitsy tweety… and it went something like this,

News news news!! I am going to become a grandfather. Aishwarya expecting. So happy and thrilled“……..is what “BIG B” wrote.

Atleast 20 tabloid editors died of heart attacks, which only goes to show that this was probably the single biggest piece of news they had ever laid their dirty eyes on.

37, wrinkled and pregnant !!.......

What he really meant was , ” News news news!! Abhishekh’s not Gay. Aishwarya expecting. So happy and thrilled”…….

Alas , if only Mr Bachhhaaann had been a little more honest and forthcoming.

A pic of Mr Abhishekh Bachhan, for any of you who have been never had the misfortune of watching Junior B’s movies ( Junior B is a nick that Mr Bachhan Junior seems to have picked in Mumbai’s famous gay pub, The Pink Nighties). The pic shows Mr Bachhan with his beau, Vroom-Vroom Abraham…..Don’t they look Happy !! …CoochiCoochiCoooo )

Mr Bachhan, pic courtsey our inhouse photographer Mumbai Kamble (No seriously his first name's Mumbai)

Dr Agarwal (our inhouse Fertility expert [shady isn’ t it that I have an inhouse fertility expert) disagrees with our highly opinionated writer and claims, ” This proves nothing man !! Abhishekh is totally and i mean 100% Gay …..No doubt…He ain’t the father man !! ” [ Please don’t ask why Dr Agarwal sounds high ]

Meanwhile, many others from the “Industry” ( a word famously coined by Crappy-wood’s moshtest powerfullest don, Kkkkkaran Johhhaar ) have also raised doubts regarding Abhishekh Bachhan and his ability to you know….[ Content deleted by our inhouse censor, Fear Mommy]. Our very own, Chulbul Pandey expressed his own outrage at this piece of “sensational news”…….” I still stick by own version of that Bitch…..She’s nothing like Kat or Rajjo (Sonakshi’s Sinha’s 30 second cameo in Dabangg. She’s a Banshee…..” . At this point, he gets distracted by a Black Buck who just happened to pass by….one can still see the longing in his eyes.

However, there was a minor section which did “bless” the lucky couple about their coming baby. I couldn’t care less for this section. Infact in the words of Chulbul Pandey, “Damn them to hell” { A comment quoted here completely and wholly out of context }